Wednesday, October 11, 2017

"Hold My Legs"

       On May 31, 2000, I stood at the stove in my parent's house cooking stir fry with one eye on the television, peaking at vibrant blue Malaysian waters off the coast of Borneo Island. It was the season premiere of Survivor. Outwit. Outlast. Outplay. The adventure intrigued me. By the season finale, when Susan Hawk rips both Richard Hatch and Kelly Wigglesworth new assholes, we were hooked. My parents and I have watched ever since, routing for the more-family-oriented contestants. When I officially moved to Portland three and a half years ago, I started taking notes as I watched each episode to email to my Mom. That way, we can still bond over the show. This season, Survivor: Heroes vs. Healers vs. Hustlers, I will be sharing my thoughts.

+ Survivor time!
+ Lets see what these fools are up to this week. Let’s start weedin’ ‘em out!
+ HAHAHA! The guys trying on Simone’s pink clothes cracks me up!
+ Bellhop: “Finally, Simone is showing her worth in some capacity.”
+ Nothing like washing your pits out with sand.
+ Why is it such a big deal that Patrick only trusts “most” of these people. You SHOULDN’T trust all of them at this point. His phrase is a non-issue.
+ Patrick makes me laugh. He’s just an idiot.
+ Not surprised Alan can’t crack the coconuts. He’s like a fish outta water on this island. Can’t wait til he goes off the deep end again.
+ At least he brought sweat pants. The only sensible clothing I’ve seen on this season so far.
+ Cowboy: “JP walks around here like he doesn’t know what going on.”
+ Cut to JP walking around camp site.
+ Cut to JP bringing fish home. Now who doesn’t know what’s going on?
+ Sherry must be hungry, she busting out from behind that tree the minute someone said fish.
+ That little thing isn’t enough to feed them all though.
+ Uh oh, I see Alan’s crazy eyes again. He knows Blondie has been talking about JP in her interviews.
+ All these girls are getting boy crazy. I smell power couples. Or lover’s quarrels.
+ So much drama in this episode I love it.
+ I also don’t think its a big deal for Patrick to go off and look for the idol. Why isn’t everyone else getting up off their ass to look for it!?
+ Joe’s idol has to get flushed! Throwing food away. Fuck this guy.
+ Cole spanned the beans about Joe’s Idol. I hope he can trust whoever this “Roark” girl is.
+ Wow! Those Heroes FLEW over that net wall! Alan’s jump was awesome!
+ Oh Jesus Patrick, just switch out already!
+ Fisherwoman: “Pat, you ready to switch….. You wanna switch….. Can I take a turn…. Patrick, can we swap?”
+ Patty just sealed his deal.
+ Damn those stacks are tall! Cheerleaders on top.
+ Blondie: “HOLD MY LEGS!” haha! She must have been a cheerleader in a past life to be able to climb up on her team.
+ They won eggs! Don’t drop em!
+ Good Tribal. Great ideas about teamwork thrown around. + It's a TEAM game right now and Patrick really fucked up. Bring him back next year, he’s cute. Hopefully he’ll grow up a bit in the meantime.
+ I’m glad Lauren stays.
+ Bye Patrick! What a big baby. Calling them “awful” and “liars” on the way out?! It's a GAME!

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