ARTPOP

       Earlier this year, in one of my Creative Writing classes, we were given the exercise to recreate a narrative by rearranging lines from lyrics, poems, books, etc. Of course, we were then encouraged to build off of that foundation to write something more original. But here is what I constructed with some of my favorite lyrics written by female singer-songwriters about art, love, confidence, community, politics, not knowing what to say, and what is pop?

ARTPOP

You’re only as loud as the noises you make.

I’m learning to laugh as hard as I can listen,

cuz silence is violence.

It’s all in our hands, got to learn to respect

what we don’t understand.

We are fortunates ones, I swear.

I got a bowling ball in my stomach.

I’ve got a desert in my mouth.

Figures that my courage would chose to sell out now.

Could try to sell you out

or I could show you all the reasons

why my ARTPOP could mean anything.

If graffiti on the wall changed anything at all,

it would be illegal.

If scars could go away,

what would you body say?

Don’t ever hide your feelings.

Don’t ask me any questions,

my personal life is a bore.

Admire me in glory, an art groupie.

That’s all.

Life is no cabaret,

we don’t car what you say,

we’re invading you anyway,

you mother fuckers,

you’ll sing someday.

Love is paint and paint is art.

Show me your graffiti heart.

I Was 19

I Was 19

I was 19.

For a year.

10 years ago.

I was thin

for a while.

I was 19

when I fell in love.

It tasted sweet like freedom.

Then it crumbled like blue cheese

on hot wings, hot enough to raise hell.

I was older

when I moved away.

You deserved more.

I gained 19 pounds.

I’m still in love.

In a box by the bedroom door,

there is a youthful photo.

We were 19.

It was magic.

Can I Have a Kiss

Kelly Clarkson

Silent All These Years

Guess who's back!? Back again! Colin's back! Tell a friend!

I have no excuse for being silent for over 3 years, other than the fact I’ve been listening instead of sharing. Experiencing instead of writing. I even let this website go defunct, hidden from the world and locked into a cyber vault, Hundreds of days went by without very many freshly documented words on my behalf. It wasn’t a conscious effort – it just happened. And whatever words were written in the last three and a half years have yet to be shared.

“Twenty years from now, you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did so. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.”

- Mark Twain (supposedly)

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Although, a lot HAS happened. Nothing super tragic or even earthquaking. But I have continued to learn, independently support myself, follow current events, spend time laughing with my soul mates, travel, create, volunteer and have filled my spare time with live shows and concerts. I'm pretty fucking happy and content.

However, I have yet to learn the piano, visit Easter Island, learn any amount of Spanish, be published, lose weight, make any money off of a hobby or successfully continue this blog. Looks like I have some writing to do as I reflect on the last few years.

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 I’m still in Portland, Oregon… and I’m 30 now! And my half-birthday is in 2 weeks. My half birthday is when I feel most fulfilled and energized. I’ve always considered my real birthday to be my New Year, rather than the January’s new calendar year. What is time anyway? My new year started when I entered this life form, and will remain April 27 until I leave this Earth.

#AlwaysWiserNeverOlder

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Last winter, I started working on a song and I finished it this past Spring. Finishing a song is quite an accomplishment for me. I usually just end up with non-Grammy-nomination-worthy snippets of verses and choruses scribbled in my journals and saved as voice memos with basic guitar chords strumming up the melody.

At its own pace, this one, however, “Pirates,” nearly wrote itself. My friend, Pope, knew that I was obsessing over the sea/pirate/ship theme at the time and sail-mailed me this little ship pin. Oh my, what a touchstone that item became.

I haven’t shared the song much at all but here is a sneak peak of a portion. Someday, I’ll be a one-man-band, and I'll have Twitter's verification checkmark next to my name.

Pirates

Spending all my days along the shore

I can recognize the calm before the storm

But I won’t worry, I won’t worry, I won’t worry anymore

Cause the pirates don’t come round my ship no more

Cruising through the choppy seas

Keeping course courageously

Suddenly the ship hit the tide

Lost control relentlessly

Placing blame accordingly

Distracting me from treasures to find

Red sky in the morn

Now the crew has all been warned…

Threatening Gravity

and here is another, that after years, is finally ready to workshop. ready. set. read.

Threatening Gravity

I must have gone mad,

left clutching the bad,

sitting on the bridge, looking over the edge

and staring up, back at the stars.

Listening to the secrets of the wind touching my face,

I declared, I shared,

I told, I showed,

for you I dared my love would grow.

But how do I turn nothing into something out of one thing?

I'm spinning spools of gold from pocket lint.

I'm dreaming as you're deciding, thinking about slipping into the dive,

with no spare shoot to fall and not enough rope to hold onto.

The truth is in my finger prints lifted from your body,

being spread so thin on wings across my heart.

Gently pressing more pins into my map,

I must take flight to leave my mark.

I hear music in the sun rise,

you see the colors but they don't shine

like they did

when you were mine.

Every lifetime has it's moment

but it would take a lifetime to record all of my favorite moments with you.

Each one hitting an unfamiliar kitchen counter without a throw rug to throw down,

as I crawl back up your backbone to find my saving grace.

Gravity threatens

but with your head in my hands and your hands on my lap,

I'll never let go of you, let alone forget you, my love.

You were the first.

nothing says "i love you" like a heart-shaped slab of meat on this valentines day.