Thursday, November 10, 2011

Italian Ice

Two words: Italian Ice.

It's the little things that I spent all week long thinking about in the desert heat that got me through our first work week. As the end of our first week of service in the desert ends, I'd be lying if I said I wasn't excited that there are only five more left. I'm pushing myself really far and am proud of my own hard work.

While I wear holes in my gloves by digging dirt, I can't help but think ahead about my post AmeriCorps NCCC plans but the simple thoughts are what got through week 1. Thoughts of italian ice.

I've been dreaming about my parents, their house, places in my home town and most importantly, my Grandmother lately. Meme was alway such a huge part of my life and it scares me to realize that she won't be there when I get back. 

In the dream I had last night of her, it was as if she never left however I knew that wasn't the case in reality. It hurt to see her, I looked away and I sobbed into someone's arms. I sobbed in my dream and I'm sure I was talking in my sleep.

I've finally begun to grieve in my sleep since I've hardly had time to grieve when I'm awake during the past two months!

Lately, I've been digging out hundreds of pounds of dirt for erosion control. I'm heaving wheelbarrows for five straight hours. I'm lugging logs across sandy lots to the log splitter to make firewood. I'm hacking away tall reeds of marshland grasses with axes, polanskis and mcclouds.

I know my guardian angels are proud of me.

i was proud of me when i climbed this rock wall camp mendocino 

Earlier this evening, I sat in the recreation room as my team mates caused chaos around me. I sat at my computer and put in my ear buds to block out not only Michael talking to himself but Kayla and Lindsey giggling in the corner, Nick, Shauna and Akina singing Disney theme songs and Britt and Jenna right outside the door cooking dinner.

I could block all of it out except the smell of dinner. Spicy chicken, parmesan couscous with onions & peppers and the mixed carrots, beans, zucchinis and squash lay roasting on the grill.

As my mouth salivated and the volume level rose, my team leader Cydne sit on a folding chair in the middle of the room, hunched over, sleeping mask on, ear buds in, legs up on the table… passed out cold.

Yeah, this is my team. This is my life. Simeon has the right idea of walking down to the wi-fi internet connection.

Now, as I lay in my tent, thoroughly enjoying my surprise cup of lemon italian ice, I listen to the owl that I finally spotted earlier, hoot in the distance.

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