Friday, January 18, 2013

Blind Amplification


Happy New Year!

The holidays were relaxing, as I didn't travel home for Christmas and I was glad when 2013 started off with some very nice weather. In the dead of the North Pacific Winter, I see blue sky out my window and muted rays of sun shining in. I feel very grateful for having the opportunity to work outside all winter long without trudging through feet of snow but am also grateful for the long weekend.

Martin Luther King Jr. Day is a National Day of Service and is this coming Monday. Where will you serve? Our construction site which is generally closed on Mondays will be open with a list of close to 50 volunteers already signed up!




I have a few non-profits that I have been meaning to call but have currently been focused on serving extra time beyond my required hours with Habitat for Humanity by participating on their Homeowner Selection Committee. It's been great to sit with applying families and get to know their stories.

Last weekend though, I took some time for myself to put some final revisions on an old constantly evolving poem. I'm always envious when I hear an artist talk about how a piece of work just “flowed out of them.” Most of my pieces, undergo many stages of editing and/or end up taking many, many months to construct themselves.

“Blind Amplification” is about guilt and the feeling of being judged and scrutinized for insecurities but being able to confidently compartmentalize emotions and calmly put aside differences. “Blind” started as a dark rant on a stormy night and took years to reemerge. Upon resurfacing, it spent months on the butcher block, undergoing brutal cuts, re-stitches and multiple variations of a title that never stuck. It wanted to be simple but not delicate and finally now, is content enough to be shared. Since yesterday was Throwback Thursday, I figured I would post.


Blind Amplification

Mona Lisa's grin glares across the candle lit room;
In the peaceful darkness,
she doesn't know me.

Reality vanishes,
hiding behind a condescending smile.
Her assumptions are what she creates them to be.

As I am audio,
she visualizes celtic speeches
and I hear indigenous drums,
using words as weapons of mass percussion.

The smirk she gives indirectly speaks to me
and a flavor of recognition thickens in the air.
Nothing is louder than silence.

Nervous spanish children speak in tongues outside my door.
They never knock.
I imagine they speak of food in the warm, Southern winter air.
They bargain,
"Swallow our fire and we'll devourer your sins."

Regardless of the potential that sticks unshed,
we've lost sense of our own self worth.
I live equidistant to the catatonic fear and their subtle appetite,
They tell me to reach into the sky and feel what hides inside.

Patient lips, pale and thin,
Mona Lisa's grin glares across the room again;
She doesn't know them.

Like a pantomime,
plotting constellations,
I set her sun into a moon
and without her feline eyes,
the guilt is gone.

A subdued exit after a gut wrenching performance,
liberation lingers in unnatural illusions.
Mona Lisa's grin glares across the room;
She doesn't know us.

(This photo is not my work nor property, I found it posted here by Carlos R.)

Tuesday, December 11, 2012

Christmastime Empathy of Gunshots


The smell of fresh fruit, dried leaves and rotting pumpkins has passed. The trees have stiffened and dropped their leaves, which lay in constantly soggy clumps in the yard. The breeze just hovers and the chill clings to glass window. Colored lights now decorate the shinny city and wink as cheerful smiles pass on my quiet neighborhood streets.

Meanwhile this evening, just miles away, silence was the last thing that fell upon the mall at Clackamas Town Center. Repeated gunshots, sharp screams, the slamming of store front gates vibrated through the food court. And the constant whisper of Christmas hymns shared their message of peace, echoing through the decorated mall. Trembling souls watched the arms of clocks heave heavy minutes as they hid in offices and back storage closets of various stores as the shooter rampaged through the second level.

Not as many details have been released as there have been personal stories of friends, patrons, managers, families getting photos taken with Santa and consumers purchasing holiday gifts as Hanukkah is upon us and Christmas is around the corner. My roommates and I have hung an obnoxious poster of Santa Claus in our front picture window and "peace, love & joy" stockings on the living room wall above a jar of candy canes on the living room table. The red, green and white wrapping paper that we used to decorate our Yankee Candles really isn't much but sets the tune of the season. I can't imagine flicking on the lights of our mini Christmas tree, locking up our comfy and cozy little home, going to the mall and never returning. The two unsuspecting people who tragically passed away tonight will now be angels watching over us this season.

You can not prepare, you can not expect and I know this has happened repeatedly around the world but I couldn't help but feel sick to my stomach while watching the news at the gym. Knowing that one of my friends had locked herself in the managers office at her store was gut wrenching. I couldn't help but feel the fear of the family who's baby daughter was on Santa's lap during the time of the ringing riffle. Or the girl who's sister was one of the seven injured, now at OHSU (Portland's major hospital) and I couldn't imagine how all their families and friends felt when they found out.

Everyday, I make an effort to vocally share my gratitude of the beauty around me, my own friends & family, the challenges & goals in my life and the service I am able to provide for others. Whether or not you believe in gun control, people killing people or guns killing people, or unearthly natural selection, take the time to realize what you do have in your current lives because it could be gone in a wave of a hand. It is too bad that it takes a publicized disaster for some people to feel the emotion that could be shared regularly.

Maybe I am just over-emotional and ranting but please, just take care our yourselves and each other, this holiday and every day. Bless us all, for blessings come in a thousand different kinds of packages.

Stay warm, we are all where we belong.

Sunday, November 25, 2012

#12

After a Thanksgiving spent with friends, coworkers, Addy the Dog, fantastic food, Jumanji and the Patriots creamin' the Jets… this image was the icing on the cake.



Saturday, November 24, 2012

Finale

30-D POD: 30


We went to the Portland Art Museum last night for "Free Fourth Friday" admission! The 4th floor was very modern and very much so my favorite. This piece stood out the most. Reduce, reuse recycle… into art!

And on this patriotic note, my 30 Day, Photo of the Day mission is completed. I may have not been very punctual all the time but these 30 photos represent the last month of my little life.